[xibalban]

Hello folks,

I have been trying to compose a few lines in my leisure, but never had the courage to go any further. Lately, and after scanning the numerous helpful threads in this wonderful forum, I was motivated to consider writing as a serious hobby.

I, however, lack good composition skills. I am here to request all you good-fellas to help me by reviewing one of my compositions: a poem.

Please indicate the shortcomings and how I could improve the following draft. Thanking you in advance, here goes:


...and the Devil Flees!!


Narrator:
An amateur, a novice with a debut;
An imp, budding devil for an abduct.

Imp:
O, Wise Sage! Forebode my triumph,
Courage I seek; that lady to dump.

Sage:
A devilish an asset, but do beware,
A woman she is, may grant you tear.
Saccharine acid, concealed within gene,
Horrid surprises; all before unseen.
A poison Ivy, ask all history,
O Devil you, but death she's for free.

Imp:
Joan of Arc; Brave Lakshmi Bai,
A mother she is, who lends her pie.
O, Wise Sage! Why devotion to the deity?
Nurse to brave; she builds society.

Sage:
O, Novice Imp! Even with your evil sane,
Escapes the escapades to her filthy lane.
All brave men; the great span un-witnessed,
Times of wisest men; whence knowledge harnessed.
Where science flourished and female suppressed,
Seems a paradox; but truth duly addressed.
Harems of harlots; when foundries scarce,
Evident need for confines; a protective brace.
Learned as they were; all wise men,
Enlightenment that was, which dawned then.
O Dull Devil! Seek all Nature,
Feminine to breed; young to nurture.
Sharp instincts; animals though unwise,
Would choose to cohabit, if otherwise.
Retreat O Imp! Lest you care the least,
That female parasite shall infest and feast.

Imp:
O Wise Sage! Much you know than I sees,
Enlightened and convinced, this devil flees!!