Thanks for all the prompt answers!
Sorry about the vagueness on what I'd already read- I wrote that at about midnight last night, not really conscious.
Honestly I've read very little in the space opera genre, sadly; most of what I had available to me is pretty much out of these criteria.
A lot of works based on video games, but those just aren't cutting it lately. Almost everything Heinlein. Ringworld which didn't do it for me (I know, everyone says it's great, but it didn't connect.)
The big thing is- I just can't FIND content like this here, and I've no idea how to! The local library's scifi section is basically two wall units and almost all older than the 70's, and the book stores around me closed down to the point where I'd have to go to another city to look!
And somehow my attempts to look up things in this vein always grab me the myriad star wars and star trek expansions. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them, but there's a point where that's not what I'm after.