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I notice the fragments but what bothers me even more than the fragments is treating a person as an inanimate object. I always pause over phrases such as "She was the one that had let them down. . ."; in my book, it should be "She was the one who had let them down. . . ."
If it is in character speak, I find it less bothersome -- after all, people often use that when they mean who -- but when it is not in character speak, I don't like it.
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