Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer
Sometimes, when I'm totally honest I think her health problems (chronic bronchitis, arthritis and cataracts) are very convenient for her. She goes out twice a week; once to do the weekly shopping, she uses the trolley as a rollator. And on Saturdays to get her cigarettes, because she know my father and I won't buy those for her. The other shopping I do. I've also taken over various chores.
|
Something I learned, when dealing with my mother and then my gran, the former of whom was obdurately self-destructive and the latter who went utterly bonkers with Alzheimers is: sometimes, it's easier to get angry at the person, for behavior that you (prefer) to perceive as deliberate--and thereby changeable--than to realize that the person you loved at one time is simply gone, and never coming back. Getting angry and thinking that they're doing it deliberately, or that it's convenient, is a form of denial.
Not saying that's how it is with your Mother,
or you. But it was damn sure true about me and mine, for a while, and
certainly my sister--who never
could let go and realize that for all intents and purposes, our grandmother was gone, years before she was, and that our mother, at her age, simply could no longer take active steps to diminish her "bad" behaviors. It's bloody difficult to let that anger go, I can certainly say THAT.
Offered solely FWIW.
Hitch