HIGH NOON
THE PLOT SOLIDIFIES !!
sort of
Dawn. The white-hot sun crawled over the dusty horizon and began to bake the bleak dreary landscape. Tempers were hotting up in Oz-Land. Things were getting plumb ugly in the Oz-Injun camp. Let's drop in!
Queen KC had angrily summoned SS into her royal presence and demanded: "Why in Hades didn't you bring any chickens back with you? That's why we sent you! To get food for our barbie this weekend! What's wrong with you?"
"But your royal rudeness -- we brought back the iPad, ..., and .... errr.... Alex! You can order take-out using the iPad ... can't you?" quavered an unusually subdued SS.
"We could order take-out if we could unlock this blamed thing! Haven't you been able to extract the password from the prisoner yet?"
"Errr .... not yet, exactly. We're still getting acquainted ... and I'm trying to win his trust, you see..... and he won't stop screaming every time he sees my blue and pink jammies with kitties on them. Makes it a bit hard to question him."
"And he keeps crawling into the corner of my teepee (hard to do but he's a furringer) clutching what he tells me are 'family jewels' - funny place to keep your valuables" "Besides, we did bring beppe le cookque back with us."
"Silence" roared QueenKC. "That precious cook can only cook chicken! Not shrimp! Not beef! ONLY CHICKEN! Which we currently don't have any of ... thanks to you! And your farking blue jammies!
The Bird Woman tells me she found this beppe fondling her scout birds, whispering herbal sweet nothings into their ear tufts. She thinks he's going to cook her avian reconnaissance squad! Then where will we be, eh?"
SS slunk back to her teepee and found Alex trying to escape by digging under one wall. He wasn't making much progress using her eyelash curler.
SS grabbed Alex and fixed him with her steady, steely, hypnotic stare and hissed "What is the farking password to unlock the iPad? If you don't tell me, Queen KC is going to give the iPad to Montsymags and his ape, and have them cast spells to open it. And Montsymags uses a crowbar in his spells!"
Alex, by now driven mad by fear and loathing of kitty jammies, could only continue his inane and insane whimper "It's mine. You can't make me give it up! I'm not going to give it to anyone ... Ever!"
Things are beginning to look really bad for Alex, aren't they?
Just as SS raised her hand to smack some sense into Alex, errr... slap him out of his hysteria, Lene-loo-hoo's bird scouts flew back into camp, accompanied by screams of "Take Cover" and loud wet splats as they unloaded their information and their intestines!
Lene-loo-hoo called for nomeskittyque to help read the message deposited by the avian scouts in the dust. Both women bent over the cloacal dots and dashes splatted over the dusty corral. NomesKQ rapidly began transcribing the tale told by these fecal founts of knowledge.
"Quick -- alert the palace -- the Robotic Rangers are riding this way!"
"Let's see, can you read that lop-sided splat there NomesKQ?"
"This troupe is being led by DrillSergeantVick and his trusty aide-de-camp OnMyKnees the 3rd! Oh No! They're bringing Oddman the terrible and his bionic leg! And LetsChaseFeathers is sharing a pony with LadyBlueEyes - her glance is the snarkiest thing west of the Mississippi! And that neilmarry fellow - has to ride sidesaddle because he wears that kilt thingy to look intellectual!"
"Oh, oh - look at this splat - SparrowHawk is flying scout for them! Better alert our flying boys! There's bound to be trouble in the skies!"
"Wait a minute, look over here. What's this bubbly one say?"
"Better alert Montsymags & his furry little ape buddy! That's the spoor for the Blue Djinn of Willoughby! He's armed AND artistic!"
"There's probably even more riding with them - but the birds ran out of poop!"
SOUND THE ALARMS! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! WE'VE GOT TROUBLE COMING OUR WAY!
(To Be Continued ... On and on and on and on....)
(Will Alex be rescued with his virtue intact?)
(Will SS have her way with him and force him into pink kitty jimjams?)
(Are they still eating left-overs at the Chicken Ranch?)
(Is Seasonings getting any sleep?)
(Can the gray doggie lead his group to safety AND donuts?)
(Will Lawyer Tom ever find a paying client?)
(Does this thread have an end in sight? Anywhere?)
Stay Tuned!!