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13
What can I say about 13?
13's not really bad, just the sort of number you want to avoid.
There was that time that someone decided it would be a really good idea to get 13 around to a school to chat to the children about what it was like to work as a prime number (part of the careers advice strand). Anyhow, it ended up with some of the children sitting down individually with 13 in the careers office. We don't really know what happened, but piecing together what the child said and the reports from the schools contract psychiatrist (who promptly raised her rates), something like the following happened. The child asked if a career as a prime would be better that his current experiences as school (he was not having the best of times, being picked on by the other kids). 13 indicated no, and went on to mention the aphorism "Your schooldays are the best days of your life". The kid explained this couldn't possibly be true, at which point 13 explained that this statement is a relative statement. It doesn't say that schooldays are good, only that it's downhill from there...
Then there was the time 13 decided to help out at the village tombola stall. Andrew, the village's recovering chocoholic (16th months without chocolate) won the giant 10kg toblerone bar. On collecting it, it was dropped on his foot which the bar managed to break. Sue, who suffered from chronic hayfever, won the giant bouquet and vouchers for another 1 a month for the next 6 months. On collecting it, she started sneezing uncontrollably and, unable to see, staggered into the Womens' Institute baking display, destroying it in the process. Finally, Leticia, a six year old girl with a terrifying pout did not win the little pink fluffy pony she wanted, but instead won a selection of tinned fruits. Her mother and three friends still have the bruises.
All in all, if you see 13 heading your way, head the other way. Quickly.
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