Just tried it again with a new Kobo (brought my old stuffed one back to the shop and was given a new one on the spot

) and I tried the upgrade on my Windows 7 64Bit and it worked like a treat
I think last time also, I was trying to top button instead of the next one down.
In addition to this, when it was starting and said something like 'enumerating book list' I turned the unit off, which could have corrupted the library and stuffed it...
Anyways, now on 1.4 and all working