HIGH NOON
CIRCLE THE WAGONS!!
Alex ran to the door with the chicken rancher and his family, and saw a cloud of dust approaching the ranch. Brightly clad figures could be barely made out as the approaching horde began circling the helpless ranch!
IAm cried out "Look! There's the queen! Queen Katti'sCat herself! And her royal consort MOTT (Man Of The Teepee) She was cursed by a neighboring tribe's shaman with brain fever - real bad brain fever - and the Oz-ians thought they were going to lose her. But their own shaman Mountsymags and his big ape did some powerful magic along with the rest of the tribe - and she's riding proud and tall again. A little slow yet - but she ain't giving up! No how! No way! We're doomed!"
Alex peered into the dust cloud and asked "Who's that slinky sexy woman in blue jammies?"
"Oh -- that's SS - the Ozian's warrior princess. She's as mean as a snake - and just as deadly!"
"And look - there's the Bird Woman lene-loo-hoo - with her little circle of flying friends. Watch out or they'll land poo-bombs on your head!"
By now Alex was becoming totally confused, trying to pick out each Oz-ian as they flashed by. He saw Mountsymags - propeller spinning wildly on his cap, swinging a crowbar around his head. There was nomeskittyque scribbling a description of the battle for publication even before it happened! And hordes more of the gaudily clad wild denizens from the land down under civilized world. They made his head spin as they flashed by on horseback!
Then disaster struck! SS rode in swiftly, seized Alex (and his saddlebags containing the iPad) and threw him over her saddle - in the blink of an eye Alex and the Oz-ians (AND THE iPAD) were gone! Only a huge cloud of dust remained, choking the rancher's family and causing the hens to cough mightily.
"Pa -- what'll we do?" cried IAm. We've lost the iPad! Pshellyrose and Psweetpea began screeching when they realized they had lost Alex too!
KennyC(hicken) grimly walked back to the ranch office and ordered GeoffC(hicken) "Quick! Wake up joyous_cowpat - the fastest man ever to key in messages on the telegraph! Sober him up and have him send out a SOS - this is a job for dave's robotic rangers!"
GeoffC ran into the bunkhouse and found joyous_cowpat already bent over the telegraph apparatus, clicking the send key so fast his hand was a blur heating the air over it!
"Quick, stop what you're doing! We need to send a SOS to the garrison. Those dang blamed Oz-ians have kidnapped Alex and stolen OUR iPad! Have Ranger dave ride out immediately with his robotic rangers and track down those savages before they break the iPad. Oh, and bring back Alex if SS is done with him."
j_c didn't even pause in his maniacal clicking, and said "No problem. I've already posted your SOS at dave's, while also posting obscene messages on the Oz-ian's bulletin board and alerting the town to your catastrophe!" "And I ordered some pizzas, since they took beppe too - and he's the only one here who knows how to cook chicken!"
(To Be Continued - you knew this was a Western - sooner or later the cavalry would get called in)
(What unspeakable horrors will SS inflict on Alex?)
(Will the ape figure out how to power up the iPad?)
(Will Mountsymags clock himself with his own crowbar?)
(Stay tuned!)
(And don't forget the posse being formed in town!)