I don't think Rosetta Stone would be the ideal way to go anyway...
Pimlseur is very good, but it doesn't help with the reading/writing part, and is extraordinarily expensive. Of course I agree with ardeegee, there are torrents of ways of learning japanese out there, if you just look for them.
But here is one affordable and very good little software for beginners:
http://www.humanjapanese.com/home.html
One of the most user-friendly and balanced little programs out there, it includes most of the stuff you need to get you started. I have it, and was quite impressed.
There's also plenty of websites that will teach you basic stuff for free - kana, kanji, basic grammar, anything. You just have to look for them. One I like a lot is this one,
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~kanji/, where you can watch hundreds of kanji being drawn with a brush, along with their on/kun readings and examples.
Here's a very good online japanese-english dictionary:
http://jisho.org/
There was a very good old piece of software too, but I can't remember what it was or even if it's still available. I'll edit to add it when/if I find it.
As you see, no need to join the army at all
Good luck.