HIGH NOON
THE DANCE REMIX
VIEWER WARNING: PG13 - Explicit anatomical references of a highly embarrassing nature contained.
A sharp rap from grandma's big stick ended the Wolf man's attempt to destroy the iPad. He slumped to the floor, where the gray doggie began to administer tongue-to-face resuscitation and go through his pockets for any stray donuts.
Sheriff HarryT and Deputy pilotbob again approached Alex and the iPad, certain now they could get both into protective custody in the broken-down MR-Rock jail.
But word of the iPad's mysterious return had been traveling through the town, from door to door, and mouth to mouth. Folks who would never be caught dead or alive in a saloon were drifting toward the Llounge, eager to see if for once rumor was truth! A large crowd gathered on the hot, dusty sidewalk and tried to see into the dusky tavern.
A tall woman wearing a beret pushed her way through the crowd into the saloon. In a voice noted for its perfect French accent and perfect diction, she caroled: "Alex! Eet ees meeee! Florence! You haff returned to meeee! Now I can finish painting your portrait! And you can pay me with your iPad as you haff promised!"
Grandma spat on the floor, cursing as no woman could or should be able to curse, and rasped "What took you so long, you Frenchie-fied floozy? Think we don't know what goes on in that so-called studio of yours? Think we didn't look in the window and see those nekkid men? Huh? And you want to be paid for lookin' at them pieces and parts? Think again sweetie!"
Sheriff HarryT bravely, if foolishly, stepped between the incensed octogenarian and the artist known as Florence. "Well," he drawled, "you claim you was painting this fellow, eh? Can you prove it?"
Florence blushed hotly and whispered "Mas oui, mon sheriffe! I never forget a tushie! Especially such a handsome tushie!"
All eyes flew to Alex, and his backside, as he tried to dig his way out through the floor boards.
Florence continued "Oui - I can prove it! All we have to do is have Alex drop his drawers next to my unfinished portrait. No one will be able to deny my claim then!"
(To be continued)
(Will Alex bare all to save his iPad?)
(Will Florence win the iPad - and Alex?)
(Will grandma have a coronary at the sight?)
(Will the doggie find donuts in Wolf man's pockets?)
Stay tuned!