HIGH NOON
THE UNCENSORED SCRIPT
Yup, folks tended to overlook ol' pilotbob - literally. He was a soft-spoken short dude that hailed from the Mississippi - where bob used to pilot the big steam boats before river traffic got all snarled up with those moored gambling ships. He struck out west and ended up in MR-Rock, and became HarryT's indispensable right-handed gunner.
He slowly sauntered up to grandma, casually cocked his umbrella-six shooter, and said "Drop him, ma'am!" Alex slid to the floor and blearily tried to focus on the nattily-dressed figure who was pointing an umbrella over his head. Grandma ordered a double rot-gut whiskey and stood beating a tattoo on the bar with her big stick, eying the leveled umbrella.
"Now then," continued the Sheriff, "let's get some facts straight now, son. Just who are you and why did you have our stolen iPad in your saddlebags? And do you have any next of kin to notify before your lynching?"
Alex began spluttering his tired old refrain "It's my iPad. I'm not going to give it away to anyone! It's mine!"
The Sheriff nodded to pilotbob to take Alex into custody, and Lawyer Tom began spluttering again about due process and bail, when the lights suddenly dimmed even more in the dusky saloon.
A sultry voice began crooning "Falling in love again" and a spotlight suddenly illuminated the blonde bimbo dreams girl on the rickety stage, dressed to kill in satin and lace, singing her heart out while the gibbon (who always claimed he was really an orangutan adopted by gibbons) accompanied her on the out-of-tune player piano.
Everyone dropped into a chair to enjoy the impromptu performance, and no one noticed the man in black entering through the swinging doors.
(To be continued - even if Alex does announce the winner)
(Even if it's not me)
(Especially if it's not me!)
