HIGH NOON THE SAGA
Before Miss Patricia could lay hands on the infernal device, the swing doors burst open as the town lawyer, Mr. Sharp Tom, ran in shouting "Don't hang him yet! We must follow due process! We only lost an iPad, not our humanity!"
He glared around him and demanded "Where's the prisoner, errr, I mean defendant? What have you savage fiends done with him?"
An outburst of girlish giggles answered his stentorian shouts, and Lawyer Tom bravely waded into a gaggle of lace and leather clad ladies all vying to assist Alex in remembering why he had returned to MR-Rock. The sometimes bad, sometimes good Deb was arm-wrestling with the Kindlish kitten for dibs on Alex's torso, whilst Verencat was chasing his bolo tie ends screaming "string!" Neko was just removing her camisole when Lawyer Tom scattered them all by thundering "Raid! Head for the hills! It's Sheriff HarryT and he needs more money for his retirement fund! Anyone that doesn't scurry off in the next 10 seconds will get arrested and fined!"
Unfortunately the ladies (and Alex) were squealing so loud, nobody hear the soft-spoken Lawyer Tom. Ever resourceful, he pulled out a catnip mouse and threw it through the swing doors, stepping aside as a thundering herd exited the cat house to follow the elusive rodent. He found Alex slumped in the dust with claw marks covering his face and torso. Muttering that the town would be responsible for the costs of rabies and tetanus shots, Lawyer Tom helped Alex back to his feet and led him to the bar, where the townsfolk that hadn't chased after the cat crowd remained staring at the forlorn iPad.
Alex continued his plaint: "It's mine. I'm not going to give it away to anybody. You can't make me. It's mine. I'm keeping it."
"We'll see about that" boomed a new voice in the fracas, as the great Judge Nate waddled forwards. Dressed in vest and frock coat, his jowls hanging over his collar and tie, he looked just like a pelican! A formally dressed pelican!
(Can this go on?)