BRIDE OF HIGH NOON
As Alex slumped in the clutches of the fierce French Fraulein, his lips silently moved as he thought "Well, things can't get much worse now, can they?"
Bad move.
The doors behind the dreams-girl flew open and more screaming women erupted onto the landing, all attesting their unflagging devotion to Alex.
"This is just great," muttered HarryTheSheriff, "now the whole cat house comes out to play."
Doc stepped forward and bellowed: "Now, now, ladies. Yes you Verencat, and Miss Nekokami, Yes you too. Everyone step back and behave. Let the sheriff do his job."
Everyone was crowding around Alex, but the iPad drew all eyes like a magnet pulling in iron filings. Eager fingers stretched forward to stroke the dusty touch screen. Townsfolk began reminiscing: "Do you remember the App that we used to use? Wonder if it's still there. Maybe it's been updated?"
Alex kept whimpering "It's mine. Don't touch it. It's mine. I'm not going to give it to anybody! I'm keeping it! Let go of me! I want to leave!"
As Alex disappeared into a crowd of feminine fur and furbelows, Sheriff HarryT gingerly picked up the iPad and held it up to his faded blue eyes.
"Sure looks like our iPad folks. But we ought to make sure before we hang the varmint."
"Who remembers how to use this dang thing? Does anyone still have a copy of the instructions?"
Doc shouted "Get the librarian! Miss Patricia has a copy of every book in this town! In multiple formats! She'll have a copy!"
The gray doggie ran out under the swing doors towards the library, fronted by its Greek marble columns. He soon returned, followed by a tall woman wearing long robes and muttering "I don't know. The iPad used a closed system. You couldn't side-load files into it unless blessed by Saint Jobs. I'm not sure if we can jail-break it."
The crowd parted in front of her, like wheat before a tornado! Sheriff HarryT reverently passed the iPad to her and waited for her response.
(To be continued - dear god - will no one award the iPad to a MR member and free me from this toil?)