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Now concentrate, this is the jokes thread. Did I mention concentrate? That means you at the back as well.
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my golden retriever had fresh air.
She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress
upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay..... Do you hear me?... Stay!.. Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde,gave me a strange look and said."Why don't you just put it in park?"
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