Quote:
Originally Posted by poohbear_nc
BREAKING NEWS
MR MISSING PERSON [AND iPAD] FOUND SAFE
BUT SANE?
Today Swiss police announced that acting on a tip from a blond bimbo they broke down a barricaded door in a low-rent area of Zurich. Inside they found what appeared to be a man clutching a baby, rocking and crooning "My preciousssssssssssss" "My precioussssssssssssssssss" He obviously hadn't eaten, shaved, or bathed for weeks!
Further investigation of the bundle revealed it to be an iPad, smuggled into Switzerland ahead of its legal import date. When police attempted to remove the iPad from the man, he flew into a rage, screaming "Sweet fuzzy squirrels on a cracker. I'm not going to give my precious away. They can't make me! It's mine! I won it! I won it! It's mine!"
Police had to taser the man to subdue him and pry the iPad out of his hands. No ID was found on him, except for a name written in green ink on the wall: "Alex"
Please come forward and claim Alex and his iPad if you can identify him, or know where he should be returned to. At present he will only mutter "Rock Lobster, Rock Lobster was a friend of mine." |
Er... I mean poor Alex. We've driven him mad.
