[alecE]

I was prompted by a recent thread [technical incompetence rules - feel free to edit in the link to "The word liseuse being used outside MobileRead"] to look for words in reasonable currency in English which we'd nicked from the French. The initial investigation showed alarming Topsy tendencies and it just grew...

With apologies to francophiles and francophones everywhere, herewith an initial foray into the adventures of Lisa the Lady Reader. Of course, this being the Llounge, I wouldn't expect anybody to add further chapters, oh no, not at all.....

"I travel in ladies’ lingerie."
I had been searching for an arresting initial statement, though this seemed to carry the scent of an arrestable offence as well. I sipped my champagne as I mulled over the possible interpretations:-
"I am a peripatetic sales-person, promenading from hotel to hotel, vending my samples of feminine underclothing."
"This is a guide, a tour d’horizon of my private erotic life."
"I am in fact a demi monde, a femme fatale, my décolletage somewhat déshabillé in my peignoir." (I could be Aphrodightie, in a mightie flightie nightie, no, je m'en fou.)

Decide for yourself which, if any, of the above is true. For myself, it’s ça ne fait rien.

These musings, whilst doubtless possessed of some intrinsic worth, are not really relevant to the matter in hand. The maître d’ of this restaurant is still waiting patiently for my order. I decide on the prix fixe - I am not in the mood today to dine à la carte. Besides, my attention is still riveted on the beau at the next table.

He is I know, the military attaché from our embassy, with a side-line in acting as agent provocateur within the revolutionary groups for whom the concept of a coup d’état has become an idée fixe. I also know that in the corps diplomatique he is regarded as a parvenu, a nouveau riche, lacking in joie de vivre, his respectability a poor façade to cover his humble origins. But he is so cute in my eyes, positively louche, my sang-froid is melting, I desire an entente cordiale. Should it be a hurried cinq à sept, or a grand passion (Grand Prix?), will it end with a crime passionel?

I give myself carte blanche to be outré with him. He is rumoured to be married, but the concept of a ménage à trios has its attractions too. Perhaps, if it is not too much a cliché, I can suggest a gentle pas de deux on the chaise longue with him? La petite mort before he is rendered hors de combat?

I am interrupted in my day dream by the arrival of my soufflé, I determine on a gastronomic rather than a romantic rendezvous. I end the meal musing on the prospect of combining my interests in good food and macramé into "haute cuitoure" - high-class edible clothing cooked to perfection.

I have reached an impasse; my poor skill as a raconteur is matched only by my willingness to perform a volte-face, seek a new rapport with my audience and indulge in the camaraderie of my friends in the ‘Bayonet Boutique’ - ("military berets and képis a speciality - from fin de siècle to avant garde").

Perhaps I should précis these musings, or subject them to a fierce critique? Or better still, thrust them into the oubliette of forgetting...