HOSTAGE CRISIS!!
The ongoing iPad hostage crisis situation continues today, with no sign of either Alex (the alleged kidnapper AND a "person of interest" in the inquiry) or the missing iPad. Rumors are piling up alleging misconduct and misuse of MR members' time and attention span. Alex is presumed armed (with the missing iPad) and dangerous (liable to post uncontrollably if cornered) - so DO NOT APPROACH for any reason!
If either Alex or the iPad are sighted, call 1-IVE-GOT-FOWL and a highly trained chicken will terminate this hideous suspense and take the iPad into protective long-term custody.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION AND YOUR COOPERATION!