Since Donnageddon posted his hilarious and musically excellent "Christiane Amanpour", I thought it fitting to respond with the only "novelty" song I've ever written, "The Irish Beaver’s Lament."
From my website (written in 2006):
.....The Irish Beaver’s Lament attempts to answer the age-old question, "What would happen if a donkey dug a pit too close to a construction project owned and operated by a beaver of Irish descent?" It features my new cigar-box ukulele built from a kit from Papas' Boxes and a box I found in a cigar store in Richmond, Virginia. But wait, there's more! As if that weren't enough entertainment value in one song, I also play the spoons, which I learned especially for this song and which (through the magic of a heavily edited wave file) you get to hear at no additional cost!
I hope you enjoy it.
The Irish Beaver’s Lament
Words & Music by W.T. Sharpe
Once an Irish beaver whose name was O'Dea,
Went to barricade the river with sticks and clay,
But a donkey came by and dug a trench in the dirt,
And the water ran around it in a great big spurt.
Well, the beaver was mad, seeing all his hard work,
Came but to naught 'cause some donkey dug up dirt,
The beaver shook his head, and then I heard him say,
"One ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
"One ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
That's what I heard the Irish beaver say.
Shaking his head as he sadly walked away.
"Just one ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
You work and you work with sticks and clay,
And then some donkey comes walking your way
Kicks up some dirt and stirs up a fray
"One ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
Now, the beaver went and built himself three other dams,
But each time the donkey came and ruined his plans
So the beaver went away because he knew it's no use
You can't build a dam with a donkey on the loose!
Now the moral of the story is to be aware
Them mean old donkeys are everywhere
If you want everything to turn out OK,
Take a tip from the beaver; keep the donkeys at bay, because...
"One ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
That's what I heard the Irish beaver say.
Shaking his head as he sadly walked away.
"Just one ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
You work and you work with sticks and clay,
And then some donkey comes walking your way
Kicks up some dirt and stirs up a fray
"One ass hole can ruin your whole dam, O'Dea!"
Song
here.