What an interesting life you lead, Neil. Your stories cracked me up, especially the motorized doc, haha
Did you know:
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you like. It's speaking English that kills you.