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Have them come home to a trail of rose petals that winds around house, and lead to the back garden. . . . . . . .where all their stuff has been dumped.
Fake your own death. Yes it’s a lot of hassle, but sometimes it’s worth the effort.
Tell her that your real girlfriend wants to be exclusive.
When asked "Does my bottom look big in this?" say yes.
Hire a Barbershop Quartet. Nothing says “I want to break up with you” better than 5 guys showing up on the front doorstep, dressed in white and red striped uniforms with straw top hats singing:
"It’s over
oveer
oveeer
oveeeer !!!"
Gimme 5 mermaid names!
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