[Dr. Drib]

I’m surprised at all the good recommendations being menioned here. Hasn’t anyone written a real stinker? Are you afraid to tell the rest of the world what the rest of the world already knows? Well, if that’s the case, let me help you out. You can use the one below as a template:


“Hiram Homer, a local poultry farmer and Indy author, was discovered dead today by a rooting hog grunting and sniffing around the remains of the corpse. Two opened TV Dinners were found near the body, their contents completely cleaned out and the tinfoil in rumpled condition, leading one investigator to conclude that Homer never had a chance to complete his dinner. The author, who writes about his own UFO kidnappings, had just completed his longest piece of writing, more than 97 pages long.

Local friend and Indy publisher, T. Lobsong Rump, called this one ‘a real stinker,’ noting that the hog had been quite busy around the body. "Apparently,” Rump continued, “Homer believed his corporeal body would soon be taken by aliens to Rigel 8., where they would provide him with an 8-track tape recorder so that he could continue to write about his adventures. Homer was never up on technology,” Rump explained apologetically, settling his extensive posterior into an over-sized Morris chair. “Perhaps the aliens have yet to be notified of Homer’s passing.”

Rump went on to explain that he would personally contact the aliens as soon as he obtained a new vacuum tube from Russia, one he needed to power his Time Travel apparatus.

“We were planning on going to Rigel 8 together. The Rigellian females are quite captivating," Rump said. "I’m sure he’s there right now, awaiting my arrival."

"I will be publishing more of this writer's incendiary prose in the future, perhaps in 2012, or until I get my Time Travel machine perfected."

You see how that was done?

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Remember, without Indy authors, we would have very few free ebooks.



"I Saw The Light," by Hiram Homer.


Don
(Moderator)