[LazyScot]

22

I really like 22. 22 is the sort of person you really want to have as a friend and a neighbour. (Personally I suspect this is something of a response to the neighbours 21 and 23). Quiet, unassuming, non-judgemental but always with time for you. You can lean over the fence for a brief chat, or knock on the door and you'll be invited in for tea and some of the amazing, wonderful apple pie a la mode(*), and you can pour out your troubles to a sympathetic shoulder that always, somehow, makes you leave feeling better.

22 is also the sole of discretion, never one to gossip or pass on tittle-tattle. Always willing to keep and eye on things, and if you get into a tight spot, well 22 has a inner core of incredible strength (which explains titanium, whose atomic number is 22).

The best example of this comes for the days when the media was chasing after lurid stories on 23. A pair of them approached 22, sure that it must know some salacious details. They cajoled, they suggested, they got out a huge check, and they even threatend. But 22 was having none of it. In no uncertain terms 22 told the journalists to leave empty handed. If fact, the terms were so not uncertain that the pair left whitened, chastened and in need of therapy which took several weeks. Now, if you've ever met some journalists or overheard their banter with sub-editors, the thought of a few uncertain words leaving them in that state.... well, "impressive" is a good starting point for a description. (Needless to say, they were not offered tea and pie.)

There are those who suspect that this silent inner core means 22 is more than it appears, that it has an important place at the heart of the number system, somewhere between a universal mother figure, guiding light and conscience. Maybe even some kind of leader. Of these rumours, I've no idea, but I'll just take 22 as a good friend. Oh, and if I could have another piece of pie....

(*) Actually, it has often be suggested that 22 and its great friend 7 should get together and set up the "22 by 7 Pie Company" as they both make such near perfect pies; 22 concentrating on sweet pies, with 7 on the savoury ones. And till you've tried 22's apple pie or rhubarb pie you really don't know what comfort food is like. And for the rumours about 22's rhubarb and apple pie....