|
25.
Now there's a number I really liked when I was a kid. Very much the sort of number that would defend you with its bunch of fives. Friendly and helpful: multiplying by 25 was always a breeze. And as if that wasn't enough, think about the brilliant work it's done. Where would right angles and Pythagoras be without 25. Nowhere! Can you imagine a world without right angles or a hypotenuse. We would never have had the Major's Song in the Pirates of Penzance, including the immortal line "and many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse."
But then, ah then, flushed with the success of its triangles it tried to turn its hand to trigonometry, which sadly led to drink and calculus. It was a downward spiral that was aggravated by its handiness with a bunch of fives. Fights and arguments started. Who was the best square? 16 and 9 got upset that it tried to take all the limelight away from them. Then 5 got angry that it kept being taken in vain, and that 25 never paid any royalties for using it in 25's name. What is the most useful number? 0 really disliked that and started legal proceedings. Who is the most musical? 8 cut off all diplomatic ties and demanded sanctions against 25. Then, in a drunken (and decidedly off-key)stupor, 25 tried to quarter 100. The number police were called and 25 was sentenced to 7 years rehabilitation (as 7 was the only number left on speaking terms with 25 at the time) in a little village in North Wales called Portmeirion.
Now, off the drink and with its ego deflated to a more natural size, 25 is almost ready to return to civilisation.
|