Well, I always hated doctors. I know my body pretty well so usually only end up with the doctors when something is wrong. Oh boy, did we mess up this time.
I got to ride in the big white donut on Monday and because it was inconclusive, they send me into the big humming drum as well (didn't care much for that and it took all my strength not to panic and jump up).
The results were in pretty much on Monday and discussed with the relevant surgeons late Monday. Looking a bit bleak atm and I am not a very happy camper.
The whole podding and prodding exhausted me a bit and I needed time to digest the news as well so I just sulked yesterday.
The theatre is booked for Thursday late afternoon - what happens afterwards I don't know. Anything is possible, the outcome range from 'she'll be fine' to 'have you made final arrangements yet?' . Tbh either end of the range is ok - well not really, i prefer the first statement by a mile. But I'm scared shitless of the comments between those 2. I could be a different person. Literally. The surgery has to be done as the impact of the space occupying mass is already felt by me (loosing vision in one eye, concentration problems, comprehension problems and other weird outcomes).
So, I have 2 days to get my stuff in order. Wonder if I should clean the house before I go in.
So, before they open my head and poke around and I forget all of you:
Thank you very much for the great times I had. Thank you for your company, laughs and fun. This is a great forum with lots of great members.
I sincerely hope I can come back. At this moment I am struggling with headaches and have problems concentrating. Stringing words together that make sense is an ordeal.
I have thought if I should actually post this but think it is unfair to those that have befriended me just to leave and maybe not come back.
Keep the good work up. Keep posting, arguing , teasing - I expect to have a lot to catch up when I am back.
At the moment I am writing instructions for MOTH to update you after the surgery. I don't think they will let me near a PC to do it myself. I am making myself little notes on post-it stickers so I can remember (if I need that) when I get back home. I also make a photoalbum of people important to me with names and so on. Might need that too. So much to do, so little time.
Ups,
just reading back and realise I kinda forget telling you that they found multiple growth in my head (haha, teaches me not to joke about the big hollow). From the shape they expect them to be benign but due to size and/or location they still have to be removed.
So, that's it from my end. The latest news - wish I could have told you I found a job instead. But maybe that's next. I still have some pending applications out there. Hope I won't get an interview next week. I'm gonna be kinda indisposed. And BOLD. (and no, I won't post pictures of that - I am not pretty with hair so no hair won't be an improvement.
Oh yes, I do expect to be back - just not sure what or who I am going to be.
Hoovering over the submit button - should I really post this? Is it fair? Maybe I should just say 'good bye' and leave for a time. No, it took me ages to write this stuff so you can take the time and read it.