Here's a couple of rules I came up with a few months ago, from writing my own blurbs and reading others':
- The blurb should capture the
essence of the book over the storyline. What is it about your book that people will fall in love with? THAT'S what you need to convey. If it's a comedy, the blurb needs a hint of laughter.
- Never change tense partway through a blurb, unless there's a fantastic reason for it.
FWIW, I like the original blurb, but dreams' additions highlight the craziness of the characters.
Edited to add: I wasn't implying you broke either of those 'rules', mind - I just find that having them clarified helps me write better blurbs, and thought they might help others