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We climbed into "Pinwheel's" car and took off down the street. And several sidewalks. And at least one cafe.
"Where did you learn to drive? Italy?" I asked.
"I never did," came the reply.
"Pull over! Better yet, just stop! It's the horizontal pedal on the left!"
The car came screeching to a halt. Oddly enough, it was sideways on the street. I instructed my client to switch places with me and we started over. She gave me directions. Mostly, I followed them. We pulled up to a large buiding with a sign on the front that had a walkie talkie on a wheel. "MobileRead International Headquarters" it read.
"Who's the skateboarder?" I asked.
"We had a contest to name him once. No one won."
"Pinwheel" went in the front door. There was a gibbon at the security desk.
"Hullo, Adrian!" she said, "He's with me." The gibbon put away a piece that would have made Red shake in his boots.
"Anyone ever get past him?" I asked.
"Not intact." I nodded. This had to be an inside job, then. We wound our way through a maze of cubicles with non-descript workers slaving away. At the end of the corridors there was a posh door with gold inlay labelled "Moderators' Suite." There was a computer keyboard and screen to one side. "Pinwheel" went up and started to type madly on the board. This went on for quite some time.
Ocassionally she swore and hit the side of the box. "Damn IE6!" she muttered. I wasn't sure why a drop of blood on the k key was necessary, though. Eventually, the massive door swung open, revealing a plushly carpeted room. Soft music filled the air. I walked into the Inner Sanctum after Miss "Pinwheel" had gone through the security protocol.
The room was a mess. Against one wall there was a long table that seemed to go on for infinity. I noticed that there was a plate on the side that said, "Y le T". Standing around were a number of people wearing green hats. On the floor was a total mess.
"Who was that guy?" I asked.
"His name is pshrynk. Or was."
The corpse was not pretty. And what had happened to it was no less attractive. It looked like he'd lost a fight with several crowbars and at least two large gorillas.
"It's going to take some doing to get the stains out of that rug," I said.
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