<doppler sound effect>
...........aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrRRRRRRRRGGGgggggggghhh hhhhh.....
</doppler sound effect>
THUMP.
<LazyScot picks self off floor>
"Dratted Brick Walls..."
<doppler sound effect>
...........aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrRRRRRRRRGGGgggggggghhh hhhhh.....
</doppler sound effect>
THUMP.
<LazyScot picks self off floor>
"Dratted Brick Walls..."
<doppler sound effect>
...........aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrRRRRRRRRGGGgggggggghhh hhhhh.....
</doppler sound effect>
THUMP.
<LazyScot picks self off floor>
"Dratted Brick Walls..."
<doppler sound effect>
...........aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrRRRR
</doppler sound effect>
Squelch. Squelch. Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.
"dratted marshes."
<LazyScot eventually pulls self out.>
<doppler sound effect>
RRRGGgggggghhhhh....
</doppler sound effect>
THUMP.
<LazyScot picks self off floor>
"Dratted Brick walls. Whooaaaa...!!"
<LazyScot falls backwards into previously hidden pit. Filled with squirrels.>
"Yearrrgghh."
<LazyScot sets a new world record for un-aided high jump from standing start.>
Thump. Sproing. Boing. Whirr.
<And a bunch of speakers appear from the ground where LazyScot landed, and start playing a selection of elevator musak interspersed with snatches of misrepresentitive election soundbites>
<doppler sound effect>
"...wwwwWWWAAAAaarrrrgggg..."
</doppler sound effect>
THUMP.
"Okay, who covered this brick wall with poison ivy?"
<Falling sound from above>
"What th"
THUMP.
<LazyScot is covered by a large amount of a certain type of organic matter used to improve soil fertility than has just had non-parachute retarded aerial delivery.>
<Some time later, after a certain amount of tunnelling, a spluttering LazyScot emerges.>
"Right. Enough is enough. I'm not moving."
<LazyScot sits down on a clear patch nearby.>
<And the heavens open.>
"Hah! Thing you'll get me that easily?"
<LazyScot produce unfolding umbrella. And unfolds it. And releases a bunch of well-fed genetically engineered moths that have eaten most of it.>
"Oh, B-"
------------------
This totally unrepresentative and over the top analogy was brought to you by LazyScot's subconscious id which is currently holidaying on a couple of nice malts and some shortbread.