MobileRead Forums - View Single Post - My Honda Civic doesn't have a snow plow (a rant)

kovidgoyal · 04-28-2010, 11:47 PM

I love my Honda civic, let me tell you why:

My Honda Civic drives only on roads manufactured by Honda, with fuel sold only by Honda and is legal to operate only if I get a driver's license from Honda. This is absolutely great, because it means that my Civic just works! It never gives me any trouble, except that one time I tried to drive it with non Honda fuel and it started making scary noises, but that's my own fault.

Not only that, Honda has designed it so that I cannot get it in the color I want, or change the seat covers, because Honda, quite rightly, feels that they know better than I do what makes a Civic look good. Who knows what an ungodly mess I would have made if I had free choice!

My Civic's tires have special valves that don't work with the air pumps in any non Honda gas stations. Which is perfectly fine, after all the pumps in Honda stations are so much prettier. And I can always buy a adapter from Honda if I really, really need to go to a non Honda gas station.

Honda decided to make the engine cover sealed so that it can only be opened by a Honda mechanic, because they really don't want me messing with its innards. Those Honda mechanics are such *nice* guys!

Almost all accessories for my Civic are sold by Honda and are more expensive than equivalent accessories for other cars. But that's only natural, after all, Honda makes accessories so much better than any one else.

My Civic doesn't have a GPS, because Honda decided it doesn't like GPS technology and instead they've equipped it with NGPS, the next generation GPS technology. As soon as enough NGPS satellites are launched, I am so going to enjoy navigating with NGPS! In the meantime I'll just stick to going to places I already know the route for.

The other day, some pesky blogger stole Honda's amazing new windshield wiper design and posted it on the internet. He was never heard from again. Serves him right! I bet he's rotting in a jail somewhere.

In fact, I love my Civic so much that I feel the irresistible urge to go out and buy whatever new car Honda will announce next.

04-28-2010, 11:47 PM	#16
kovidgoyal creator of calibre Posts: 45,240 Karma: 27110894 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Mumbai, India Device: Various	I love my Honda civic, let me tell you why: My Honda Civic drives only on roads manufactured by Honda, with fuel sold only by Honda and is legal to operate only if I get a driver's license from Honda. This is absolutely great, because it means that my Civic just works! It never gives me any trouble, except that one time I tried to drive it with non Honda fuel and it started making scary noises, but that's my own fault. Not only that, Honda has designed it so that I cannot get it in the color I want, or change the seat covers, because Honda, quite rightly, feels that they know better than I do what makes a Civic look good. Who knows what an ungodly mess I would have made if I had free choice! My Civic's tires have special valves that don't work with the air pumps in any non Honda gas stations. Which is perfectly fine, after all the pumps in Honda stations are so much prettier. And I can always buy a adapter from Honda if I really, really need to go to a non Honda gas station. Honda decided to make the engine cover sealed so that it can only be opened by a Honda mechanic, because they really don't want me messing with its innards. Those Honda mechanics are such nice guys! Almost all accessories for my Civic are sold by Honda and are more expensive than equivalent accessories for other cars. But that's only natural, after all, Honda makes accessories so much better than any one else. My Civic doesn't have a GPS, because Honda decided it doesn't like GPS technology and instead they've equipped it with NGPS, the next generation GPS technology. As soon as enough NGPS satellites are launched, I am so going to enjoy navigating with NGPS! In the meantime I'll just stick to going to places I already know the route for. The other day, some pesky blogger stole Honda's amazing new windshield wiper design and posted it on the internet. He was never heard from again. Serves him right! I bet he's rotting in a jail somewhere. In fact, I love my Civic so much that I feel the irresistible urge to go out and buy whatever new car Honda will announce next.