[recluse]

In a bold attempt to save lives, the Mayor of New York has announced a "War on Salt". With the assistance of a major fast food chain, the Mayor hopes to remove easy access to this lethal condiment from people who are not qualified to use it safely. This caused great excitement among reporters, although none of them had the common sense to ask what lethal chemical would be used as a substitute.
New Yorkers, as a whole, remained unmoved by the decision. As veterans of the numerous other "Wars" waged in the past against Crime, Drugs, Prostitution and Illiteracy in the Board of Education, they know that soon the only salt that won't be easy to find will be the rock salt the City uses to de-ice the streets every winter. As usual.