[recluse]

I was watching TV the other day when I saw the stupidest invention ever.
Basically, it's a packet of activated charcoal that you attach to the back of your underwear which removes the smell when you fart!
I know! The nerve of some people!
What's the point of farting if you can't share the complete experience?
I have a better idea. Let's put the fun back into flatulence!

FART FRESH!

My breakthrough allows you to personalize your flatulence to fit any mood, any moment!
Choose from one of the following scents:
Pine
Lemon
Potpourri
Lavender
Wet Dog
Ham
Peppermint
Old Bait
Liverwurst
New Car
Cayenne (Outdoor use only. May cause burning sensation)
So remember:
When you gotta fart, FART FRESH!