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God is sitting up in up in Heaven, and He's pissed. Thousands of years and a great flood, and humanity still hasn't learned anything. He decides to destroy the world in two weeks. But before he does so, he tells the three most important men in the world. The ones he tells are Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates.
Obama calls an emergency joint session of Congress, and tells them "Ladies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, there is a God! He talked to me! The bad news is He's pissed and He's going to destroy the world in two weeks!"
Putin addresses an emergency meeting of the Russian Parliament, saying "Comrades! I have bad news, and I have worse news. The bad news is the Western imperialists were right. There is a God, and He talked to me! The worse news is He's pissed, and will destroy the world in two weeks!"
Bill Gates addresses a special meeting of Microsoft's Board of Directors, saying "Ladies and gentlemen, I have great news, and I have wonderful news! The great news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men in the world, and He talked to me! The wonderful news is that you don't have to fix any more bugs in Windows or Office!"
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Dennis
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