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mvisconte · 03-24-2010, 11:47 PM

Hello Friends, are you enjoying our feature? This is Charles Cranston Lovett-Jackson the Third, Esquire, DDS, MVP, MPG, your host for tonight's WHISTAR THEATER!

Wow, what a zany adventure our group is on, isn't it? The scenes with the whales sure scared me! What new adventures await? Time can only tell. Now, here's Time, the Clown!

(sotto voce) Do I have to do this?

(sotto vociferous) Did you get paid last week? Then I'd advise you to do it. You quit doing the clown, we quit paying you. We quit paying you, you miss your alimony payments. You miss one more alimony payment and, well, YOU'RE the one who married the cop's sister and then cheated on her with his wife......

HI KIDS! I'm Justin Time, and I'm gonna tell you about today's new adventure!

(sotto vicious) DO IT!

(Time, the Clown, takes a bottle from his pocket, uncorks it, drains the last of the cheap booze he filled it with last night, and then smacks himself in the head with the bottle. The Foley operator used a half coconut and a big spring near his Westinghouse 618 to get a satisfying CLOP-BOING!!! as the bottle shatters. A splash of rut-gut makes it into Justin's eyes. He clutches his eyes and...)

AAIEEE!!! OW! OW! OW! OW!!! HOLY @!$@V!FFERW@!!!! (Justin is rocking his torso back and forth in spasms of pain, running blindly towards what he thinks are the stage curtains. So. Close. In a forward curl, he gains momentum and then hits the corner of the wall at the edge of the stage. He's out cold, and tumbles forward, just missing going over the riser into what was once an orchestra pit. The kids in the audience are eating it up, laughing hysterically at the clown's crazy antics. Those are words not even DADDY can say without mommy being mad for a week! The producer is angry, then at the childrens' response, thinks this might be a useful routine next week... boy, he's gonna have a goose egg the size of New Jersey tomorrow. Nobody noticed the small blood pool under Time's head.)

Announcer: OK JOE! Well kids, that'll teach that crazy clown not to drink, right? Tell that to your dads, ok? OK!

So, in tonight's episode, our friends go to JAIL!

Heh heh heh, don't worry, they're heros! Let's watch, shall we?

(lights in theatre dim...)

03-24-2010, 11:47 PM	#184
mvisconte pHilosopher kIng Posts: 208 Karma: 429751 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: An imperfect world Device: Laptop, laptop, desktop, phone (HTC, HTC, Asus, Asus, LG rah!)	A word from the sponsor Hello Friends, are you enjoying our feature? This is Charles Cranston Lovett-Jackson the Third, Esquire, DDS, MVP, MPG, your host for tonight's WHISTAR THEATER! Wow, what a zany adventure our group is on, isn't it? The scenes with the whales sure scared me! What new adventures await? Time can only tell. Now, here's Time, the Clown! (sotto voce) Do I have to do this? (sotto vociferous) Did you get paid last week? Then I'd advise you to do it. You quit doing the clown, we quit paying you. We quit paying you, you miss your alimony payments. You miss one more alimony payment and, well, YOU'RE the one who married the cop's sister and then cheated on her with his wife...... HI KIDS! I'm Justin Time, and I'm gonna tell you about today's new adventure! (sotto vicious) DO IT! (Time, the Clown, takes a bottle from his pocket, uncorks it, drains the last of the cheap booze he filled it with last night, and then smacks himself in the head with the bottle. The Foley operator used a half coconut and a big spring near his Westinghouse 618 to get a satisfying CLOP-BOING!!! as the bottle shatters. A splash of rut-gut makes it into Justin's eyes. He clutches his eyes and...) AAIEEE!!! OW! OW! OW! OW!!! HOLY @!$@V!FFERW@!!!! (Justin is rocking his torso back and forth in spasms of pain, running blindly towards what he thinks are the stage curtains. So. Close. In a forward curl, he gains momentum and then hits the corner of the wall at the edge of the stage. He's out cold, and tumbles forward, just missing going over the riser into what was once an orchestra pit. The kids in the audience are eating it up, laughing hysterically at the clown's crazy antics. Those are words not even DADDY can say without mommy being mad for a week! The producer is angry, then at the childrens' response, thinks this might be a useful routine next week... boy, he's gonna have a goose egg the size of New Jersey tomorrow. Nobody noticed the small blood pool under Time's head.) Announcer: OK JOE! Well kids, that'll teach that crazy clown not to drink, right? Tell that to your dads, ok? OK! So, in tonight's episode, our friends go to JAIL! Heh heh heh, don't worry, they're heros! Let's watch, shall we? (lights in theatre dim...)