[ASparrow]

Originally Posted by lene1949

I loved reading that critique... It made so much sense... My interest is due to me studying Professional Proofreading and Editing (mostly to improve my understanding and writing of the English language...

Thanks for posting it.

Yes, I was very grateful to receive it, despite the pain. I only hope I can apply these principles to other works, but I fear I'm doomed to always have a somewhat awkward, opaque style. It might prevent me from ever being published but it won't stop me from writing, because after all, writing is a disease.