Thread: Silliness Convenient Lies
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:15 PM   #56
mvisconte
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: An imperfect world
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dsvick View Post
In the Marine Corps we receive extensive hand to hand and unarmed combat techniques.
Woohoo! Actually, I decided to go a softer route. My extensive training in defensive ballet, and offensive square dance will certainly tide me through. Plus, I've got a body guard! Makes me want to go in to WalMart and pick a fight with an old guy. No, an OLD guy. Older. Older. OK, that's about right. Yeah, the guy with the walker. Limits his mobility, his balance is such that he'd have a hard time using as a club, and he's not in the motorized thingy, so he can't run over me. "Hey! You! FOUR EYES! You got a problem!?" Oh, sorry. Ok, turn up the hearing aid. "HEY YOU! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!?" What? No, I didn't want Metamucil. No. Oh? Orange flavor. Yes, that's good. OK, we're going to have to leave now, me and this hot looking leather clad, extremely-sharp-throwy-thing holding, could-drop-kick-a-cow woman. Nope, appreciate it, but she doesn't need a baby sitter.

This never works the way I think it will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dsvick View Post
Other sorts of weapons, like pointy things that go bang, or tubey things that go whoosh boom, and long stick thingys that go rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat are another story ...
Well, tell me a story daddy! I love those kinds of things, although you can't really be a lovable rogue if you actually hurt people, so I never get to play. I DO, however, have a collection of Fezzes (if KK is through getting port hockey supplies), and I've got a pin-stripe suite, and a martini. That should be good for something. Ah, I can't drink and drive (a dirigible)... there's a table in the pilot house that I can set my drink on in between spinning the wheel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dsvick View Post
I could help KK if needed, or shortncuddly her job sounds interesting as well - or better yet I could do both - that sounds like a good combination!
A good combination, yes, but I cannot encourage fraternization between the troops. No telling when I'll get attacked by zombie pirates, or pirate zombies, or ninja-monkey-pirates with zombies. I need both of my two fiercest warriors on call. KK and Deb come as a pair, and as either one of them could beat the tar out of me (hard, I can attest), I wouldn't do anything to antagonize them. I have to be able to sleep at night without looking over my shoulder.

Actually, I happen to know that they are both loyal and patient, so when I screw up, I don't have to worry about winding up in a Fez being shipped to Algiers.

Whew. I gotta get this show on the road. OK, everybody, if you didn't go before take off, it's too late now. Oh wait, we have luxury lavatories. Never mind, at ease, relax, you won't even notice we're moving. If I can get this rope untied. Wait, we may not be moving. Anybody brave enough to shiney up the scaffolding inside to the for'd hatch and cut us loose? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?
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