A continuation from Once Upon a Never. (
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...152#post819152)
This won't be pretty. For anyone lost, please read the post referenced above, and contact one of our friendly customer service personnel. Stay in place until aid arrives. Stay calm. Stay put. Conserve your energy and resources. Do NOT try to find your way out on your own.
It begins... (with a continuation). All standard disclaimers apply (re: misspellings were intentional and lend a certain je ne sais quois to the story. Any awkward phrases are art and you can't question art. Anything that isn't understandable is obviously a joke rather than ineptitude on behalf of the writer, etc.).
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AIEEEE *sound of screams receeding into distance...*
Quote:
Originally Posted by kindlekitten
right, outside, window, hard boiled, runny yolks, cheddar, scotch; single malt, small arms
slit trench, composting, 50# AND burros, never throw your weapon away, high speed, long range, low drag!!
MacGyver, ship, airship, spaceship, no shades! country AND western! classical with a little fusion, neither rap or rabid dogs, rock
"blue", 5 second rule
jerky! YUM!!, chocolate malt, whipped cream, round nose 380, open iron, passive, fingers, throat, permanent, selective, memories, scales of justice, you CERTAINLY won't try that again!!!, local hero
coffee, tea, mineral water, local beverage
anything worth doing is worth doing yourself!
compassion
leave that person (animal) alone!!!
visual, takeoff -landing AND where's my drink!
no sweat I got it covered!
have wandered many forests with no lights
I'll take the hill! just let me do it my way!
ummmmmm????
nape of the earth navigation doncha know!
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DANG WOMAN!? I almost suffered an unplanned deplaning! I got so excited I was pacing while reading, and didn't think about the passenger bay doors being open.
It's only a few stories down, so it probably wouldn't have killed me -- I have survived falls higher than that -- but it would have made for a nasty jolt after the accelerated exgress. I'll ask Reynard to re-tether at a lower point on the mast, or better yet, we may as well park her in the hanger for a while. Flying through wind = fine. Being popped around like a punchball by the wind whilst having one end of the balloon tethered to a mast = bad.
My count so far seems to include dbDeb, KK, Pshrynk, Geoff, WetDogEared...
We will be slightly short on staff (the standard stand-in henchmen union contract rules include percentage of spoils, and not that I'm greedy, but why spend cash you don't have when you don't have to?) -- so we'll all have to take on some of the regular operational roles, too.
Dibs on captain!
Pshrynk, can you do EMT or emergency surgery in a pinch? HEY! Can anybody sew? Skin? I better clarify that, can anybody sew SKIN? I don't PLAN on us experiencing any punctures, cuts, severences, un-natural openings, dismemberings, removings, lacerations, instickations, slices, chops, improper holing, disemboweling, alien incubations, extreme demon disembarkation, or any other incidents where the warm, wet, red, shiney, liquid inside stuff becomes cold, dried, brown, dull, caked stuff on the outside -- but it never hurts to be prepared. If there's some there who has the guts to collect the pieces (guts) and re-attachment in a reasonably similar position, it may pay off.
Wetdogeared, can you take guard duty? If you fall asleep and neglect to awaken us during enemy action, and I'll personally drop you into the China Ocean! (OK, the others wouldn't let me, but if I get killed in my sleep because you were sleeping on duty, then BAD DOG! NO BUSCUIT!) Also, will you be steward? What? Oh, ok, will you by whine steward?
Geoff, any inate heroic (or devious) talents we should know of? Aside from being willing to perform mercinary adventuring for little or no remuneration... that's a very attractive trait, in itself! Can you be in charge of the chickens? Fresh eggs for breakfast, and chicken dinner on the return flight!
Does anyone get airsick? I have all the standard remedies: dramamine, candied ginger, scotch... Uni, if you're interested in trying desensitization, but you'll have to practice it outside the passenger areas. The upper deck fine for sitting, but presents a large, runny surface if your I/O goes all O!O!
Also, the upper deck is really good for suntanning, and that area is of course clothing optional, but I wouldn't recommend it -- as we'll be traveling nocturnally as much as possible. There's no lighting up top, and if you fall asleep and go for a walk, chances are you'll just keep falling until you wake up -- either still falling or dead. Plus, there's no sun up there at night.
Some last points: I get the captain's quarters, even tho' the boat isn't "mine", technically. Besides. it's aleast 9/10'ths mine, so sayeth the law. 90% in mine pocket.
I'll release the other 10% as exhaust gas en route, and count it as tithing, as an offering to Gaia in the form of hot, long-chain, aromatic, hydron-carbon-rich, methyl-bi-sulfate gasses. A stand in for the eco-nuts in congress, this trip.
Well, I've got plans to put together before we embark on our adventure.
Bring casual, warm outer wear. Boots (water proof) along with a breathing stick (2" or more) are advisable. The areas will be cramped in some situations. Please remember breath mints -- especially WetDogEarred, no offense.
This is exciting... oh so much to do!
We'll meet back here at, oh... next post, and we'll review assignments. All right? BREAK!