[Greg Anos]

"C'mon. Micah, put that thing down and let's have a beer."

That must have been the wrong thing to say, because Micah suddenly screamed "CHRIST HAS RISEN!" and pressed the button.

BANGS went off everywhere in the pipes underneath all the brew vats and high pressure streams of Pearl and Pearl Lite came roaring at the Drowning Baptists. I was in a zone not covered by any of the beer paths, and VR was up on a platform and clear of the flood as well. Every time a Drowning Baptist tried to get up they got washed back down.

VR yelled at me, "NICE PARTY!"

I yelled back, "THANKS. PLENTY OF BEER AND ENTERTAINMENT, TOO. BETTER INVITE THE NEIGHBORS. " I screamed at the top of my lungs "FBI, MARINES, HIT THE DOOR AND FOLLOW THE NOISE. BRING YOU OWN CUPS!!!"

I started singing Tom T. Hall's I Like Beer.

"I like beer,
It makes me
A jolly good fellow..."


About 30 seconds later, the doors burst open and heavily armed FBI agents and Marines burst in, doing their careful cover and advance routine, approaching the beer streams which were still roaring. There was a lot of beer in the vats.

"Hey VR, we got a dance team now, too."

"Real nice party, Red. Maybe we ought to start thinking about how to shut it down now."

"Party pooper! But you're right. Let me get the Major over here. MAJOR RUIZ, OVER HERE."

The Major circle behind the flows to get to me."

"Major, I don't know how to shut these flows off, after all the explosives. We need to save these souls before they give up and drown. Can you use some ropes and kinda lasso the people and pull them out the beer, one at a time? You can then cuff 'em and have the FBI read 'em their rights."

"Smart plan, Red, I've got ropes, and they won't be any trouble one at a time." He raced off.

"Hey VR, bet you never thought you get to watch "Fishing For Baptist Souls" live!

"Beat any other fishing show I've ever seen. Of course that's not saying much."

"When they get the last one out, let's give 'em a round of Just as I Am. "

VR started chuckling. "Red, sometimes you're just too much."

"It you think that's too much, just wait until you see how I deliver the bars..."


One at a time, they got them all out. The last one was Micah. As he was being pulled out, I turned around and bent over and dropped my pants. A big ole full moon.

"All right VR let's hit it!"

"Just as I am..."

Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on Micah having a hide-out on him. I heard a Bang! and suddenly I'm flipped end-for-end, banging my head against something along the was. I was seeing double and my rump was on fire. There was something red flowing out from under me. I heard my voice saying, "Anybody got a couple of band-aids?"