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Obviously you ate a "free range" or "feral" cat. You need a nice "farm raised" or "house" cat. Then you must tenderize it while alive. Grab kitty by the tail and, with full, overhand swings, beat it against a counter, table or wall until the noises stop. Finally, shave, skin and stew, with white turnips and carrots, over low heat for three hours. Enjoy.
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