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Old 02-27-2010, 12:14 PM   #1
vivaldirules
When's Doughnut Day?
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Donut Night: An Insignificant Nugget of Dementia

Part I - First, You Mix The Dough

It was late. Again. Another long night spent w***ing well past dinner time just to ensure that my employer's little slice of capitalism was suitably protected from the onslaught of - of what? And just how many years does a guy have to w*** before "40 hours a week" begins to take only 60 hours a week? Anyway, it must have been around midnight when I drove past the donut shop on my way home. God, I love that place!


I was tired, sleepy, and hungry as a dog! And I could really have gone for a donut right about then. I put the top down on my convertible in a lame attempt to let the cold air in (it was the first of March) to drive away my hunger pangs and to keep me awake. But I couldn't have gone much further before I briefly - just for an instant, mind you - nodded off. When I caught myself and awoke in a start, I could see this guy in my headlights - a donut by the shoulder of the road - hitchiking (at this hour of the night??).


I was so startled that I almost wet my pants as I slammed on the brakes and swerved to miss him.

[DUCK!!!, yelled someone in the audience.]

[THOUAQUE!!!, came the predictable response.]

"Hey, can you give me a lift?", he asked.

"What?"

"I said, can you give me a lift? I'm kinda in a dunk right now and could really use your help."

"Sure, sure", I must have said, not really knowing what to say.

"Thanks", came from somewhere out of the massive toroid, as he squeezed into my car. "You wouldn't believe how crazy it is out there tonight."

"Crazy? Where?", I asked. Like an idiot.

"You know. Out there!" He pointed up (with what??). But all I could really think about was that I must have died in a car accident and gone to heaven because there was this massive donut in my car - and he had sprinkles! Then I wondered if perhaps it was all in my head. And, just maybe, the reason it suddenly felt crowded in my car was because it was me that had had one too many with sprinkles.

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