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Really really good!!
(except I will add that I was confused and thought you were telling us about something that happened IRL .. seriously took me until I reached this:
"I walked out and checked the mooring lines on my dig, counted to ten. I hoped that would be enough. I walked back through the door and it was night. The place was smokey -- which was strange, because it was "you better not be smoking unless you're on fire" night. I quickly checked my clothes and relaxed as a man with flaming red hair ran past me screaming. Well, he was headed towards the river anyway.")
You definitely have a great writing style.
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