[Steven Lyle Jordan]

In honor of SuperBowl XLIV, let's make our own commercials we'd like to see. I'll start:

Scene: A grassy field, somewhere in the picturesque Colorado landscape, mountains in the background. 22 Clydesdales playing football on the field.

Quick shots in succession: A football being snapped by a hoof; running horses; farm animals on the sidelines, cheering and stomping about; horses head-butting each other; a football sails through the air; a horse falls to the ground; another horse runs past two markers on the ground; a racoon (why not?) stands nearby, and raises his arms in a "touchdown" signal.

Cut to: A rooster crows, signalling halftime.

Cut to: Mice, bringing a small stage into the middle of the field as the horses move aside.

Cut to: Two men, leaning against a fence facing the field. They are stretching and nodding, but otherwise expressionless.

Man 1: Pretty good game, huh?

Man 2: You bet.

Cut to: Middle of the field. Three chipmonks dash onto the stage, and start squeaking in unison.

Cut to: Horses and farm animals at sideline. They watch the chipmonks, silent and motionless.

Cut to: Men at fence. One of them squints at stage.

Man 1: I thought we were gonna get Alvin and the Chipmonks.

Man 2: Stupid tribute bands.