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I don't think there's a way to do what you want without hacking the Sony Reader and switching it's internal built-in fonts to a font that includes the characters you're trying to display. I'm almost 100% sure that you can't make the reader's software and menus use the font you embedded into the epub file.
One solution that I use (in my Japanese epubs) is to add an English transliteration of the real title to the "title" metadata. Then you'll see, for example, ??? (Rashoumon) instead of the title you're supposed to see, 羅生門 (Rashoumon). It's not the prettiest solution, but it beats a bunch of unreadable question marks.
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