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Originally Posted by mvisconte
I wasn't planning on buying anything except he was quite persuasive. I think it was his tie. He said that I could get my money back any time I wanted.
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I think I know this character. The problem is that once you've given him your money it becomes his money, and so you can no longer get it back. All you can do is try to get him to give you back the money you already have. Unfortunately, this means you have to give him more money, and, from your perspective, you find yourself on the negative end of a highly profitable business model.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvisconte
I don't know what I did with the receipt but he told me he'd give me back one of my kidneys, and he'll take the Crooklyn Bridge parts back, and he's going to pay me in BOUILLON! I've seen it! They're little gold cubes, and they smell faintly of chicken.
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Would that be a trade-in stock or a stock in trade?
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Originally Posted by mvisconte
You know what? He sells Tupperware AND timeshares!
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And his timeshare contracts, like tupperware containers, are airtight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvisconte
Quite an timely investment, as my lettuce often wilts.
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Have you consulted a urologist?
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Originally Posted by mvisconte
He won't let me invest in a timeshare unless I attend the mandatory 4-hour sales presentation. I get to stay at a nearby Super-666 motel and tour the property during low tide.
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Did he recommend a one-way or return ticket?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvisconte
Once I get weeks 7, 32, 17, 63, and 11, he says I should make all my money back by renting the weeks out. So y'all tell me which ones you want, and we can arrange for some bouillon to change hands. Just remember to wash afterwards.
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I make it a policy of only renting the popular weeks, as determined by those that are completely booked out. So if you let me know which weeks are unavailable, I'll have one of those. However, I can only pay in vegetable bouillon. What exchange rate are you offering?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvisconte
As for the rest of the stuff, I was planning on leaving it in front of your building. I will be discrete.
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In that case, around here, you will stand out like a sane person. May I suggest you wear some jester's slippers, dayglo breeches, go bear-chested and arrange hire of a J-P Gaultier special choker. A coruscating beanie would be an excellent finishing touch. This should render you completely invisible.