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I wasn't planning on buying anything except he was quite persuasive. I think it was his tie. He said that I could get my money back any time I wanted.
I don't know what I did with the receipt but he told me he'd give me back one of my kidneys, and he'll take the Crooklyn Bridge parts back, and he's going to pay me in BOUILLON! I've seen it! They're little gold cubes, and they smell faintly of chicken.
You know what? He sells Tupperware AND timeshares!
Quite an timely investment, as my lettuce often wilts.
He won't let me invest in a timeshare unless I attend the mandatory 4-hour sales presentation. I get to stay at a nearby Super-666 motel and tour the property during low tide.
Once I get weeks 7, 32, 17, 63, and 11, he says I should make all my money back by renting the weeks out. So y'all tell me which ones you want, and we can arrange for some bouillon to change hands. Just remember to wash afterwards.
As for the rest of the stuff, I was planning on leaving it in front of your building. I will be discrete.
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