Quote:
Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel
aw, moejoe, you just want us to take our trousers off ! silly man. just ask next time ! it might work.  |
Ahh, but my plan was far more ingenious.
For ten years I scoured the globe in search of the fabled Paris Eye Diamond (as big as man's heart, if that man is in love). Once I'd stolen the diamond from a cartel that consisted of Royalty, Billionaires and some bloke called Terry, I took a chartered boat to the Polynesian Island of Wiki-wiki-hoo-ha, there to construct...a time machine!
The climate was harsh, the food terrible, and the twice-nightly Cabaret appallingly amateurish, but I muddled through and finally, finally the time machine was complete, but my plan was not yet workable. In my haste I had forgotten the most important part; to learn French!!!
Having my time machine at hand I raced back through history to collect famous Frenchies* - Napoleon, Balzac, Eric Cantona! - so that they could teach me the mother tongue of La Belle France. Five years of intense study and I could put my plan into action.
I raced back to the Paris of 1790 and there I assumed the identity of the scholarly scholar Hubert Augustus Lemonade, and through the following years I forged relationships with a series of influential politicians. Gaining their trust through 'favours' and the baking of croissants, I managed, after ten years to convince enough of them to enact the Trouser Law!
And all of this in an attempt to get the women of Paris to take off their trousers!
But, in the end....it was far easier than dating
*this is in no way a ripoff of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, even though it is