Hello Alice & welcome to MobileRead.
The Kindle, Sony 600, and Nook -- to name the most readily available models in the USA -- all have a 6-inch (diagonal) screen. At the default font size on my Kindle, that gives me a page of text approximately 1/2 to 2/3 of what appears on a paperback page. I typically set my font to one size smaller than the default, so I get from 2/3 to 3/4 of a full paperback page. Your tradeoff is font size (readability) and number of page turns.
One benefit of the electronic reader is that you can increase the font size if you need -- which I do in situations where the lighting is low.
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2) ability to get books easily(either through mobile download or fast transfers from comp)
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If you are comfortable with your computer, then it's a very easy/fast process to transfer a book from your computer to the reader. All readers connect via USB to the computer. Having the wireless -- whether cellular like the Kindle or wi-fi like the Nook -- can be nice in certain situations, but it's not essential. I carried my Kindle with me to Ireland and had no problems purchasing a new book and transferring it to the Kindle via the USB connection. Like Neil, I don't try to carry too many books on the device at one time. The majority of the books I've acquired -- whether purchased from Amazon, Baen, or Fictionwise or free downloads from various sites -- reside on a USB hard drive. Much easier for me to organize and keep track of those I've read, etc.
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3) if it's possible to get textbooks that would be amazing but I'm majoring in lit so I may be able to use a lot of standard books
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I think it depends on the type of textbooks you need. I've purchased two text books for the Kindle. One was for an education course on dealing with kids who live in poverty and the other was for a comparative religion course. I would think that most if not all of your assigned reading in your literature courses would be available in electronic format. For the "classical" literature, you'd probably be able to find free editions at Project Gutenberg or Google books. One challenge might be if the professor required a particular edition of the book -- usually so that you have the editorial commentary or notes. For your texts, you'd just have to search the e-bookstores and see what' available. Many universities post the syllabus for courses and you might look at the courses you're planning on taking in the next couple of terms and search out the texts listed to see if any are available in electronic format. If not currently available, you could send a request to the publisher.
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4) ability to span multiple formats (if there's one that works with both amazons and b&n/epub that would be amazing
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Ummm... that's a challenge when it comes to DRMed (or encrypted) books. The Kindle only supports Amazon's version of encrypted book formats. The Sony supports both Sony's proprietary format and ePub encrypted by Adobe. LOTS of stores sell ePub encrypted by Adobe, so that does open up more opportunities for you. I'm not 100% sure what the Nook supports. Rhadin's comments match what I've seen elsewhere.
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Also because I am rather spastic, which ones can I do notes and highlighting as well as dictionary functions with?
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I've only ever used the Kindle and I do quite a bit of note-taking and highlighting with it. The highlighting is particularly nice to mark quotes that you want to include in a review or a paper. With the Kindle, you just download the "My Notes and Marks" file to your PC and you have all the highlighted text right there to paste into your paper.