Ok, not as good as LS, but here goes
Dazed and confused as always after entering Adrian's, nothing odd about that. But tonight, something was different. Nausea, that was not a feeling I usually got when the temporal vortex that masquerades as the entrance to Adrian's deposited me next to Tuesday.
Stumbling over to the bar, one of the Marc's looked up, shook his head slightly and handed me a glass with something that swirled in all the colors of the rainbow. I looked at him over the edge of the glass and started to ask what it was. Again this Marc just shook his head slightly and said.
"No, you don't want to know, just drink it."
Shrugging I followed his advice. At first nothing happened, well, at least if you don't want to count the fact that my toenails started to curl upwards, the hair on my arms shrivel up and my lower intestines started thinking about moving south for the winter.
And then it REALLY hit me...
A few minutes later I was looking up at the ceiling of Adrians which slowly stopped revolving over me. With a groan I picked myself up from the floor and looked at the Marc.
"No, you don't want to know" he said again.
Considering the fact that my feeling of nausea and confusion was gone, I decided that not wanting to know was a good enough reason for me. I decided to order my normal poison and opened my mouth but all I could manage was
"Glbblldldöös..."
"Right", the Marc said, "one Zany Carter Deluxe coming right up" and at the same time he handed me a glass of said bewerage that he obviously had mixed during my short period of conciousness impairness.
I quickly drained the glass and felt myself going warm and fuzzy all over.
"Ahhh" I finaly managed "That grows hair on your chest" which it literally does, I was going to have to shave again when I got home as always after a visit to Adrian's.
"Whats up with the feeling of nausea upon entry?" I asked the Marc
"Something happened last night," he said with a excusing tone "Adrian had some 'friends' over for drinks after hours"
"After hours? I thought Adrian's never closes"
"It doesn't, but Adrian decided to bend the rules a bit and changed Tuesday to After Hours. So anyone who enters at Tuesday gets a touch of TDD"
"TDD?"
"Temporal Displacement Disease, nasty stuff and the only thing that helps is a shot of No, you don't want to know"
I shuddered slightly at the thought of what a drink named like that really contained but decided that I really did not want to know.
Having almost returned to my normal self, I quickly scanned my surroundings. Vivaldi and WDE was sitting over in a booth by Wensday and shared a bowl of something that looked like liquified bacon. LazyScot was at the bar to my left, having a heated discussion to Laws of Physic and Reality.
"Hello Slite" a deep voice suddenly said behind me making me jump slightly, guess I wasn't quite over the effects of the 'No, you don't want to know' quite yet.
Turning I saw something that at first look more resembled a huge pile of white fluff, a REALLY huge pile of white fluff, with two dark eyes the size of saucers at the top of the pile, some 9 feet of the floor. It was of course The Yeti standing there smiling down at me.
"Hi Yeti, how's everything?" I smiled at the Yeti and continued "Where's Am tonight?"
"She's around here somewhere" Yeti replied in a rumbling voice "She got into a argument with Zelda and the Jukebox about the pros and cons of Abba. And I was getting bored."
"Well, I imagine that we will soon hear where they are, especially considering Zelda's, ummm... less than enthusiastic view of Abbas music" I said while i smiled happily at the Yeti.
I usually try to adopt smiling happily at beings capable of ripping once arm off and beating you to death with the bloody stump while screaming "Stop hitting yourself!". not that I for one instance believed that the Yeti in question would do that. Being married to Am and all. But in my line of work, it usually was a good idea to stay on your toes.
"Can I get you something?" I asked the Yeti as I turned towards the bar, where the Marc held up a bucket of the Yeti's favourite poison already, sometimes I really hate that about Adrians.
"Thanks" the Yeti said, took the bucket, downed it in one huge gulp, tensed up and looked slightly crosseyed for a second or two, before relaxing again. "I needed that" he said, laughed and then clapped me on the back so I almost somersaulted over the bar and only by catching hold of one of the chairs did I manage to not go careening over it like a frisbee.
"Well, I better go see if the missus wants som muffins or something" Yeti stated before wandering off with a last wave in my direction.
I shook my head and att the same time trying to shrug my displaced joints back where they belonged.
All of a sudden the Jukebox came running by with something that at first glance looked like a raging fury hot on it's heels. As they crossed over into Monday, the fury caught up with the Jukebox, got it pinned down and managed to unplug it's speakers with a vicious half-nelson that made me green with envy.
"He must have tried to play something by Abba" I thought as I recognised the fury as Zelda. The Jukebox obviously tried to apologise, but with disconected speakers, all that came out was a kind of low humming sound.
"He'll never learn" was the only comment from the Marc as he handed me another glass of ZCD.
I nodded in agreement and thanks, sauntered over to Thursday and sat down at one of the booths along the wall. I needed som private time to think about my last assignment.
Beeing the only weredog employed by MI-6 usually landed me in the strangest places and situations, but the last job in Havanna was one my strangest ever.
Suddenly a Marc came over with a bowl of SCD, seems like I had changed into dogshape without even thinking about it. The Marc put the bowl in front of me, gave me a quick scritch behind the ear before heading back to the bar.
Damn but those Marc's give a good scritching!
Lapping some ZCD's from the bowl I pondered what MI-6 would have me do next, I sure hoped the next job did not include sockpuppets. Those guys creeped me out, almost as much as mimes do.
I looked at the watch over the bar and decided it was time to leave Adrian's, beeing thursday and eight o'clock, I had no desire to hang around. Thursdays at eight, it's time for the Solid Gold Disco Dancing Pirate Ninja Squirrel Special Elite Squadron burlesque show, and that is NOT something I want to witness again, ever! It scares me even more than sockpuppets.
Quickly finishing my bowl, I drop to the floor, scratch myself behind the ear and leave Adrian's for this time...