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Old 09-06-2009, 12:12 PM   #16
Sparrow
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe View Post

Here are the opening paragraphs from two traditionally published books, to make my position much clearer (any choices I make here, can easily be transferred to the independently published)

It was a pleasure to burn.
~
Death, in this forsaken place, could come in many forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendour of this terrain and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him.
~
Now, one of these is quite clearly brilliant and compelling, while the other is a bunch of old tosh and I wouldn't read beyond that first paragraph. Can you guess which? Anyone with half a brain can, and it's definitely not the second quoted paragraph.
They both seem pretty iffy to me.
The first trying too hard. The second too trite.

But then most initial paragraphs of most novels are fairly unpromising imho.
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