I rather like the pace; the dialogue is ok too. But the story needs more proofreading. There are some small errors from the early pages below.
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"You know I've told you know to do that," Ben complained.
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"not"?
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The captain was wearing a dark gray jumpsuit that complimented her neat, trim figure
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.
"complemented"
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Slink was worse than most harbin's at being a harbin.
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Plurals don't need an apostrophe.
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"I hate to install it on the fly, but the current builds are so outdated that were as likely to shoot ourselves as anyone else."
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they?
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Someday, someone was going to have to set the woman strait.
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straight.