Thanks, everyone. I really have reached the point where I feel I am letting her bully me. Every time I do try and set some sort of boundary, it just adds fuel to the fire. For example, she can bring up minor incidents from 15 years ago for which I have already apologized, and it's 'showing me the error of my ways so I can repent' but if I say something like 'If you don't want me talking to T [my older full sister, who I am closer to] then don't you talk about this to N [my younger half-brother, who she is closer to' then this is me 'keeping score' which is a cardinal sin. It has progressed beyond the point where we can even have a sensible conversation about anything, and any response from me beyond 'you're right, I'm sorry' is met with rants that I am not trying hard enough and am not sincere in my efforts. Why put myself through that anymore?
It just bugs me most of all that this whole thing has me doubting myself sometimes. I called my mom in tears about it, and she pointed out, not without some snark (she hates my dad) that SHE has a much, much larger family than he does, and all of THEM love and adore me, so clearly the problem is not some incapability on my part to be part of a family. And then she reassured me that if I had done anything 15 years ago to piss her off, she would have told me so 15 years ago, I would have apologized, and it would be done, because that is how normal people handle things
