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ficbot · 06-21-2009, 02:38 AM

I'm always a little sad on Father's Day. I am not very close with my father. He and my mom divorced when I was very young, and he was not that involved in my life and became less involved the older I got. I have come to accept that he has some limitations as a person, and some baggage from his really dysfunctional family, that have just made him completely incapable of relating to me in the way my mom does, and I take him as he is, am polite when I see him and have learned to stop accepting much from him. But it still makes me sad from time to time (especially times like this) that I will never have the father/daughter relationship I might have wanted.

This year is especially hard because my half-sister, who is a bit of a brat and a lot of a drama queen, has been mad at me about something which is totally not her business, and in the last few emails we had, she told me that perhaps it would be best if I not come over to Dad's house anymore. I put my foot down and insisted she talk to him before she disinvites me (she lives there, but she's 22 and has her own life so she is more than capable of removing herself if she can't be civil to me the 8 times or so per year that I am over there) and she was contrite. But when I spoke to Dad to see about plans for tomorrow, he on the one hand said I am right and she shouldn't say that to me but on the other hand suggested that we meet at a coffee shop. So I'm not completely sure what to make of it, but it stings that, push coming to shove, he'll capitulate to her instead of for once in his life sticking up for me.

I do have a wonderful stepmother. He treats me mother wonderfully and has been there for me in little day to day ways that my real father has not e.g. coming over to hang pictures for me when I move, picking up jumbo packs of paper products and laundry soap for me at Costco because I don't drive and it's hard for me to buy that stuff on my own and just all the little things I can't count on my father for. He and I don't have similar interests or anything much in common besides him being married to my mother, but he is a decent guy and I have come to really love his solid, satble presence in my life.

06-21-2009, 02:38 AM	#7
ficbot Wizard Posts: 2,409 Karma: 4132096 Join Date: Sep 2008 Device: Kindle Paperwhite/iOS Kindle App	I'm always a little sad on Father's Day. I am not very close with my father. He and my mom divorced when I was very young, and he was not that involved in my life and became less involved the older I got. I have come to accept that he has some limitations as a person, and some baggage from his really dysfunctional family, that have just made him completely incapable of relating to me in the way my mom does, and I take him as he is, am polite when I see him and have learned to stop accepting much from him. But it still makes me sad from time to time (especially times like this) that I will never have the father/daughter relationship I might have wanted. This year is especially hard because my half-sister, who is a bit of a brat and a lot of a drama queen, has been mad at me about something which is totally not her business, and in the last few emails we had, she told me that perhaps it would be best if I not come over to Dad's house anymore. I put my foot down and insisted she talk to him before she disinvites me (she lives there, but she's 22 and has her own life so she is more than capable of removing herself if she can't be civil to me the 8 times or so per year that I am over there) and she was contrite. But when I spoke to Dad to see about plans for tomorrow, he on the one hand said I am right and she shouldn't say that to me but on the other hand suggested that we meet at a coffee shop. So I'm not completely sure what to make of it, but it stings that, push coming to shove, he'll capitulate to her instead of for once in his life sticking up for me. I do have a wonderful stepmother. He treats me mother wonderfully and has been there for me in little day to day ways that my real father has not e.g. coming over to hang pictures for me when I move, picking up jumbo packs of paper products and laundry soap for me at Costco because I don't drive and it's hard for me to buy that stuff on my own and just all the little things I can't count on my father for. He and I don't have similar interests or anything much in common besides him being married to my mother, but he is a decent guy and I have come to really love his solid, satble presence in my life.